For REAL?

Okay, well lets just keep things real here. What is a mom to do after one of the WORST days in recorded history with her children? Who can she really vent to that may possibly understand? Well, you of course. THAT is, after all, why I am here. To share my life with you. I don't even have time to share this on the phone with a girlfriend and I think they all read this now, so here we go.

First off, lets just say I have bitten off WAY more than I can chew. One thing I love is to be a host. Having people in my home is one of my favorite things. So, my Daddy, Sister, Brother-in-law, and niece coming into town Wed. night is VERY exciting to me. That said I have totally BLOWN my budget. I honestly don't even know where we are in the month or in my spending. I simply have not had time to take photos of EVERY purchase that I have made to post it here. I am sorry. I really didn't think about this before I took this project on. SO, I have decided to admit to you, the WORLD wide web, that I failed and fell flat on my face in the dirt (as one of my sweet friends would say)! I am going to try to post about the REALLY good finds that I find AND about life. Because, I really wanted to post more about life anyway. Maybe in Feb. when things slow down (lol, I will be back in school then) I can do this month by month challenge thing. I do plan to get back on schedule with my $160 a month. It is killing me that I don't know what I have spent and where. So I will try to let you know where we are and what good deals I find, but if it is nothing special I probably won't post about it :)

THAT said, I have a real question. HOW DO MOMS DO THIS? Today had to be the hardest day I have had in a long time. There were times today where I honestly thought, "Can I quit?" Don't get me wrong, I love my children. However, the age span, the gender differences and just plan being busy make some seasons VERY hard.

My middle child (22 months), ran a 104 fever for four days. Yesterday was his first fever free day. So, I had big plans for today. However, I failed to take into account all that had happened in the previous four days. Like the fact that we had watched BOAT LOADS of tv. We don't usually watch much tv at all. I also decided last night when the kids didn't eat their dinner that we were NOT wasting it any more. After all, there are starving kids in Africa, we know some personally ;)...and my kids need to eat their food and NOT waste it. SO they now have to eat their food or see it at the next meal.

SO all that said, we started the day with leftover spaghetti for breakfast. That did not go over well at all. However my oldest (3 1/2 years) decided to go ahead an quickly eat the leftovers and move on to the nice warm usual breakfast. I could only wish that my middle child would have done the same. It was almost 2pm before I finally got the last three bites in him (and it was not a lot to start with maybe 5 bites). Stubborn child. Must take after his daddy. Just kidding, I think that was what made the day even harder is that I was just stubborn enough to insist that he eat it.

All of that while I "secretly" wondered if this by chance had anything to do with the sickness that we had experienced earlier. Clearly he isn't still sick. He was FINE tonight with his daddy.

And while he was screaming his head off, he decided at 11am that he would rather go to bed than eat the left over spaghetti. Which was fine, he went right to sleep which was nice. UNTIL his sweet three year old brother decided to jump off their play table while pretending to fly. WHY DO THREE YEAR OLD BOYS THINK THEY CAN FLY? Needless to say, he fell HARD on his bottom and it hurt bad. So he screamed VERY loudly waking up his brother, but thankfully not his sister (my five month old). Where was the mother during all of this?....I figured you might ask. I had retreated to the office so that I might post my "great deals" for the world to see. It was not worth the effort.

And somewhere in the mix of things I let them write in their notebooks with a pencil. Yeah, another BAD idea. Usually this goes well, but not today. No, today my middle child decided to draw all over my table (those marks are still there) and then he went to his sister to um, decorate her face. HER FACE WITH A PENCIL. I remind you that he is not even two and he had a pencil on her face, and she is only five months. Poor child.

Which brings me to a question. WHY? Why did God choose to give me a girl? She rocks. She is so funny and cute. BUT we are SO protective of her. All of the sudden I cringe when I see my boys go near her. I never did that with the first and second. We are questioning the vaccinations more and nothing is easy. I promise we are treating her like most do their first. SHE is my third. I am supposed to be much more laid back.

Well, okay. I think that is enough ranting for today. Oh, I am sure I could tell you more and that I left out some hair raising part of this story. Like all of the discipline issues I had because I chose to let them watch only one hour of tv today. GASP. Only an hour. Oh, I am sure our sweet friends in Africa (the ones who are starving) would love an hour of tv ;).

Geez. All of that to say that at the end of the day when things are quiet and I finally get to sit and vent all of this to you, I am thrilled to be their mom. It makes me smile to think about the few fun things we fit into the day (and even a few of the rough moments make me smile, eventually, I mean who wouldn't think that the three year old superhero isn't cute). And I am so thankful that God has blessed us with three precious children. We have friends who would love just one, and for some reason God chose to give us three. I praise Him for that. My three year old is in Awana and has been learning Scripture like crazy (and praying daily for our friends). It is totally awesome to hear him quote John 3:16 while I am raging with anger about some silly toys in the floor. He just sits quietly in the mix of them all, playing and saying his verses. It truly blows my mind that he is even meditating on the Scripture. Maybe that is the whole point. Maybe that is what I should be doing. No maybes, that IS what I should be doing. WOW! Maybe that is why God gave me my precious children. When God uses my children to convict me of things in my life that need improving, sometimes that stings and sticks more than anything anyone else could say. They are just so real.