WHY?

Why are you here?  Haven't you given up on me yet?  Seriously....in MARCH I told you I was making a comeback....here it is almost JUNE (three months later) and I am FINALLY making another post.  Oh, no! I am glad you are here, I am just baffled that you would choose to read ANYTHING I might write. 

Truth is, I have thought about MANY things I would LIKE to post on here, so many, I just decided to not.  Due to lack of time...or maybe just plain laziness.  Then I thought I would just post and say, goodbye.  That I won't post anymore.  Again, not because I didn't want to, but more b/c I just didn't have time.   But I didn't want to....truth is, when I look at those of you who are following me here, many of you are some of my life long friends.  There's one or two of you I don't know, (which by the way it amazes me that you would be here and stick with my randomness even though you haven't met me!!), two or so that I count as mentors, but the truth is, I really do care about the twelve of you that follow me here.  I love you ladies and I love feelings somewhat connected to you :)

And so, now you are wondering why I chose to post....aren't you?  Well, you see, Matt and I deleted our fb pages.  No, we didn't deactivate them we deleted them.  They are gone, well they will be in about a week.  It will be like fb never even existed in our homes.  Except it did.  And, oh it kills me to say this, but....I miss it.  GAH!  I didn't want to miss it. . .but I do.  I could go back.....I have one more week till it is completely gone.  I could sign in right now and it would ALL be back, but I can't.  See, this has been one of the BEST weeks my family has had in a LONG time.  A LONG time.  I have done much better keeping up with housework, and being nice to my kids, I have found time to post to our family blog and I have just been a happier mom.  So I can't go back.  I know for sure if I did things would head downhill FAST.  I just don't have the self control to do it anymore.  I would read all about everyone else's BEST days and compare them to my worst.  I went to bed at night frustrated that my husband didn't do the things those men did, that my kids didn't do the things those kids did, that I didn't do the things that she did, that my friends didn't do the things that those friends did and so on....you get it, don't you?  

I now realize that I am thankful that my _____ didn't do what so-and-so's _____ did b/c my ________ is mine.  And this is my life.  Not theirs....so I shouldn't compare.  I don't know why I ever did....and I know I won't stop, but this is MY life that God has blessed ME with.  And I love it.  I love it even more now that I am not reading all about everyone elses!  

And then....oh gosh, then I would JUDGE others based on what they posted..  SERIOUSLY?!?  That was just NOT okay at all.  I would see someone in person and suddenly be upset about something they posted or said on fb.  WHAT in the world?  SO, that settled it.  I had to be done.

Now don't take that the wrong way, I LOVE to know what is going on in others lives, and I miss it terribly.  But I just can't (for me and my life) spend my days reading all about everyone--and yeah, I mean everyone.  I had over 500 friends.  THAT my friends is a bit over the top for me! 

So why am I telling you this?  B/c my mind still works in fb world.  There are things I want to tell people.  Things that are going on in my world, things that are important to me, I want to share, but not with 500+ people!  That is where all this comes in.  I just want to get out of my mind a few things now and then.  And, I like being able to share with you :)

This isn't my new fb.  I promise that.  It's just a way for me get some of my need to express myself out!!  I promise I won't post everyday...probably not even every week, but I want to post some....here and there.  It won't be regular, I don't think.....shucks it may even be three more months before I post again...but maybe not.  ;) 

whew.  I am glad I got THAT out.  OH!  And one other thing...I don't think facebook is bad.  I think it is AWESOME...for some people.  Just not for me!    Now...I am going to post something totally different...I think ;)